
The convenience of self-storage combined with the thrills of a theme park!

Rising gloriously behind a row of sturdy storage units, Papa Mike’s Theme Park and Storage Unit delivers cheese-powered fun for the whole family. From the soaring Dough Coaster to the legendary Pizza Castle centerpiece, every corner drips with marinara-fueled adventure, bold flavors, and just enough oregano-scented ambition to make you question your life choices.
Positioned proudly at the front of the park like the unsung hero it is, Uncle Joe’s storage complex delivers secure, climate-controlled peace of mind with zero nonsense and maximum square footage. While the Pizza Castle erupts in fireworks behind it, these spotless, meticulously managed units stand firm against dust, moisture, and poor life decisions.
Contrary to popular belief, you ARE allowed to lock your kids in the storage units while you enjoy the park, with an additional fee.

YEARS OF OPERATION

HAPPY GUESTS

STORAGE UNITS

RIDES
Papa Mike is a mastermind. A genius. An intellectual. And more synonyms for a smart person.
In 1992, he had the idea to combine his love of pizza with his love for self-storage, and create the ultimate theme park.
Since then, Papa Mike's Theme Park and Storage Unit has generated over 7.42 billion dollars in revenue, and continues to be the leader in amusement and self-storage solutions.


Uncle Joe is the business partner of Papa Mike. Together, the two single-handedly operate the park.
Uncle Joe started his career as a mover in 1990. However, when he met Papa Mike, the two decided to start the ultimate joint self-storage complex and amusement park.
Being in charge of the storage aspect of the park, Uncle Joe is responsible for maintaining the pristine nature of the park's storage units.

ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
"Almost as good as Iron Man 2"
Papa Mike's Theme Park and Storage Unit is a very good park. However, I do have to say that I do not think it surpasses the greatness of the 2010 movie "Iron Man 2."


RANDOM GUY
"AMAZING PARK"
THIS PLACE IS AMAZING! I mean, I've never been there, but I was told that I would receive money if I gave this place a five star review, so here it is!


PAPA MIKE
"This place is INCREDIBLE"
This place is AMAZING! Papa Mike, especially, is very smart and gorgeous and incredibly handsome and very strong.


THE US GOVERNMENT
"Minimal War Crimes Committed"
We've investigated Papa Mike's Theme Park and Storage Unit several times due to reports of war crimes, but our searches always end up with minimal crimes committed!*

*we may or may not have been given 3.42 million dollars to secure our silence
$129.99 / person
Entrance into the park
One (1) storage unit
5 Ride Passes

$499.99 / person
Entrance into the park
Five (5) storage units
10 Ride Passes
Complimentary Souvenir Cup
Access to Club Italian™*
Access to SaucePass*

*Additional payment may be required
$10k / person
Entrance into the park
Fifteen (15) storage units
Unlimited Ride Passes
Complimentary Souvenir Cup
Access to Club Italian™*
Access to SaucePass*
Meet Uncle Joe and Papa Mike*
Complimentary hotel booking**

*Additional payment may be required
**not actually complimentary